I don’t think people understand how real this job is. Yesterday, a panicked citizen told me a young man was walking around with a gun in his waistband. As he was telling me this, he pointed and yelled, “He’s right there!” The person was walking up the street towards me with his istband, just like the man said. With all the people around, I couldn’t wait. I had to stop him before he got to a corner with a large crowd. I exited my vehicle and confronted him. He reached for the gun again, and I was about to do something I pray I never have to do. He knew me and immediately dropped to the ground. When backup arrived, we cuffed him and removed a toy gun with an orange tip. I scolded the young man. I remembered trying to help this young man get shelter and buying him a pair of shoes a few years ago. I could have shot this man, who looked like one of my sons, over a toy.
I haven’t been able to sleep all night, thinking about how close I came. Would I have been justified? Absolutely. It looked like a real gun. But what would the papers say in the morning? How would the anti-cop crowd spin it? “Cop who claimed he cares for the homeless shoots unarmed homeless Black man with a toy.” Though his race was never a factor other than how he was described by the witness. No one would have known how many times I tried to help this young brother. How many would believe this biased headline and call me trigger-happy when I haven’t shot anyone in 30 years? How many friends would I lose? How woke would the narrative be among people about how I hate myself and my people, leading me to murder with impunity.
Folks, the decisions we have to make in a split second aren’t easy. But they are NOT rooted in racism or brutality. It’s what we are up against in the moment.
I thank God he complied. That would have been tough to live with.
This would have been another case Of a broken system failing him, and me, then all cops being made the scapegoat for it.
