“
#Parody #Satire
🚨 NEWS ALERT: Wisconsin psychologist Dr. Janet Johnson Van Epps proposes legislation banning social media platforms. ‘They’ve gone evil—slanderous, hurtful, nothing like what they started as,’ she warns.
Her fix? Total shutdown. Swap likes for letters, reelsthms for actual humans.
‘If you’re scared to say hello in person,’ she adds, ‘practice on your dog first.’
And teeth? Oh yeah—anyone launching a new platform gets hit with $500 million fines per user lied to, plus jail time for CEOs who dodge. (Think Meta’s recent $375M verdict… but times ten.
Who’s in? Or are we just too used to seeing everyone get lied about and enjoying it? 📵
💸
#BanSocialMed
ia #DrVanEppsSays
So #UnplugAndBreathe”