@Well, let me be perfectly clear, in the way only a man who has driven too many fast cars and eaten too much meat can be: yes, I support Ukraine joining NATO.
But - and it's a very big "but", the sort of but that could stop a Russian tank in its tracks - only under two rock-solid conditions.
First: the war with the Kacaps (or whatever polite term you want to use for the moonshine-soaked invaders from the east) has to be properly over. Finished. Done. No more "special military operation", no more frozen conflict, no more pretending it's all just a misunderstanding. They pack up their rusty tanks and go home. Only then does Article 5 make any sense, because right now inviting them in would be like asking the whole of NATO to jump into a bar fight that's still swinging.
Second: they need to sort out their house. The glorification of certain nazi-like historical figures with unfortunate 1940s associations - stop that nonsense, it's embarrassing and hands ammunition to every Kremlin troll on the planet. And the corruption? Oh, come on. It's legendary. If Ukraine wants to sit at the big table with the grown-ups, they have to stop the oligarchs treating the country like their personal cash machine. Clean it up. Make it boringly honest. Like Switzerland, but with better tractors and fewer cuckoo clocks.
Until those two things happen, I'm afraid the answer is a very firm "NO". And I'm not alone. The vast majority of NATO members - the sensible ones who don't want to wake up to nuclear winter because some politician wanted a quick headline - will quietly agree with me.
They'll smile for the cameras, send some more money and weapons, but when it comes to actually signing the paperwork? They'll suddenly discover they have to consult their parliaments, check the stars, or wait for the next ice age.
It's not cruelty. It's common sense. You don't let a house that's still on fire and full of dodgy wiring join your perfectly insured neighbourhood.
So there you are. Support in principle? Absolutely. Right now? Don't make me laugh. Pass the claret.